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Opinion

Commentary: 'Glee' and current events inspire a song or two

Peter Callaghan - The (Tacoma) News Tribune

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December 04, 2010 04:50 AM

Today, in the spirit of the holidays and the hit television series “Glee,” we present a sneak preview of “2010 – The Musical.”

“THE GREAT RECESSION”

– sung to the tune of “The Great Pretender” by the Platters (ask your parents or grandparents.)

Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

SIGN UP

Pretending that I’ve gone away (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

I’ve done enough,

But times are still tough

I’m over but no one can tell

Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

Some of you still own a home (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

The temperature’s brisk, there are jobs still at risk

You open your bills with a groan

Too real is this feeling of déj vu (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

Economists have a job, what they lack is a clue

Oh yes, I’m the Great Recession (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

You wonder why I’m still around (oo-ooh, oo-ooh)

I still have work, I continue to lurk

I’m turning your hopes into frowns

Too real is this feeling of déj vu

Politicians want our vote, while we stand in the queue

Pretending the skies will turn blue.

“I BELIEVE I MIGHT FLY”

– sung by the first 787 Dreamliner

(with apologies to R. Kelly, something I never thought I would say)

I used to think the next deadline

Would yet again become a bad headline

Chicago bosses had me in a bind

They all had Carolina on the mind

If I can’t see it, then I can’t read it

I don’t believe it, there’s nothing to it

I believe I might fly

I believe I might touch the sky

I think about it after each delay

Back to the hangar do I roll away

I believe I might soar

With carbon wings still holding to my core

I believe I might fly

I believe I might fly

I believe I might fly

See I was on the verge of catching fire

Now my panels need a full rewire

One more issue for the feds to delve

I just might fly again by twenty twelve

If I can dream it, I can see it

If I outsource it, I can be it

I believe I might fly

I believe on that you can rely

Machinists fix me every night and day

So I might finally shed my wheels of clay

I believe I might soar

I see me rolling out that hangar door

I believe I might fly

I believe I might fly

I believe I might fly

“TOUCHA-TOUCHA-TOUCHA TOUCH ME”

– sung by American air travelers (with apologies to Richard O’Brien and “The Rocky Horror Picture Show.”)

I was feelin’ stressed out, had-ta shout.

I’d not been stranger-frisked before

(You mean he? Uh huh.)

Full-body silhouetting, is the price of jetting

But it could lead to trouble and junk-petting.

All I want to know, is how not to go

To Naval Base Guantanamo

(Mo, Mo, Mo)

I’ll raise not one objection, ’cept my blushed complexion

But after our time together, show some affection.

Toucha-toucha-toucha touch me.

My flight’s at 10:30

Nab me, grab me and jab me

Creature of our fright.

What if anything shows, while I pose?

Then you’ll show up and pat me down

(Down, Down, Down)

It’s just one violation, by a panicked nation

You have a white-gloved hand, I’m on vacation.

Toucha-toucha-toucha touch me,

I’m off to New Jersey

Move me, groove me, approve me.

Creature of our fright.

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