Commentary: My five rules for politicians

Time is running short in my campaign for governor.

Since I don’t have $10 million lying around to buy up all the airtime and force Meg Whitman and Jerry Brown underground, I’m going to have to continue relying on the massive reach of this high-power blog.

Or I could just stomp around on the streets, say exceedingly stupid things, hope someone films it and pray the video goes viral.

If you haven’t yet made up your mind and may be inclined to vote Joetopia for governor, let me offer you some more irresistible reasons to punch my ticket.

Following up on my 10-point platform and in response to what has been an utterly ridiculous campaign year, here are five qualifications I pledge to enact for anyone seeking state or federal office.1. No fools allowed

A lifelong lack of political interest, a lack of practical experience or a flat-out lack of knowledge disqualify you for state or federal office.

We absolutely cannot afford to vote in dopes and nimrods under the guise of the “everyman.”

Whether the job be president of the United States or assemblyman from Clovis, far too much is at stake to trust our civic well-being to people whose only asset is that they aren’t something.

Aren’t smart, aren’t curious about the world, aren’t interested in participating.

Before you run for anything, first tackle a couple of those meager tasks.

Then, with this most basic life experience, you get to jump through the next hoops, in order.

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