It’s finally December, time to make a list of things to do before the holidays.
1. Check with politicians to figure out whether it’s more patriotic to buy stuff or more patriotic to save.
2. Wait for stimulus check so I can pay off the bills from last Christmas.
3. Get festive lights for the "For Sale" and "Price Reduced" signs on the parking strip.
4. Check with etiquette books to determine whether it's allowable to regift the gifts that were regifted to me last year.
5. Call Best Buy, see if they take unemployment checks.
6. Decide whether to watch the inaugural EagleBank Bowl or TIVO it.
7. Determine if the "Winter" decorations at Sea-Tac Airport are a celebration of a religious event and therefore actionable or a violation of good design and therefore just offensive.
8. Pick favorite day of the season – Black Friday, Cyber Monday or Foreclosure Thursday.
9. Ask feds if Barack Obama's infrastructure investment plan covers my new furnace.
10. Decide which Christmas CD from which washed-up pop artist to buy.
11. Pick up lead and melamine detectors that are made in China so I can test all the Christmas gifts that are made in China.
To read the complete column, visit The (Tacoma) News Tribune.