Start strong. Rivet the reader’s attention. Employ gripping detail. Tantalize.
Judge John D. Bates show a deft judicial writing style with a new opinion that employs some of these basic but often overlooked techniques of vivid writing. Here’s how he starts:
“Defendant Michael Vernon Townley is in hiding. And for good reason.”
And we’re off and running. For those of a certain age, the name Townley itself captures attention. Even for those who don’t know the name, though, the fact that he is in hiding excites curiosity, interest. Then comes the second sentence, propelled by the “and.” It’s contrary to standard practice to start a sentence with “and,” but doing so judiciously adds momentum.
“And for good reason.” The sentence itself, partial as it may be, conveys threat, implies danger. We want to read more, and Bates then delivers:
“He was the star witness against several defendants in a 1979 criminal case concerning the assassination of Orlando Letelier, the former Chilean ambassador to the United States. In exchange for this testimony, the federal government placed Townley in a witness protection program, where he has remained for almost thirty years.
But Townley is also a debtor.”
More mystery! The rest of the opinion is straightforward, but the beginning makes it easy to get into. Suits & Sentences says well done, Judge Bates..
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