Cleaning out the files (and forgive me if some of this, thanks to my deteriorating memory, is recycled stuff that wasn't very good to begin with)
A lot of politicians are knee-knocking scared of not looking tough. Somehow the irony escapes them.
Those home repair and improvement shows are useless. Every project, from repairing a crack in the ceiling to building a full-size replica of Westminster Abbey, takes half an hour. I just don't seem to have the knack.
God bless America, where you're free to opine that 90 seconds of Bob Costas on gun control is a worse affront to broadcast journalism than 16 years of Fox.
A rationalization nobody should get away with again, ever: Saying "Life isn't fair" as an excuse for willful human unfairness that humans could willfully set right.
I was looking through various online graphics directories to find a drawing or other visual element on the subject of open government, sunshine laws and so forth. I found a link labeled "Patriot Act" and decided it might be worth a look. I was denied access. I couldn't possibly make this up.
A recent study says lots of Americans have trouble sleeping. Maybe bedtime reading of studies that tell us what everybody's known for centuries would help.
A Georgia man allegedly paid for Internet porn with a bank account he hacked online from a church. Talk about betting against the house.
Charles Colson, former Nixon White House felon who died earlier this year, once said the Deep Throat revelations shook his confidence in government. That's like Jerry Springer bemoaning the taste level of television.
People who inflict their cell phone addiction on innocent bystanders are like drivers who block the left lane: Logic tells you there can't possibly be anybody left in the world who doesn't know it's obnoxious and wrong, but somehow they're always there.
I thought about getting one of those gasoline generators in case a freeze or thunderstorm knocks out our power. Then I decided it would be cheaper and more efficient just to burn money.
Have you noticed how sometimes the people who most loudly deplore "finger pointing" are the ones who most deserve the finger?
People who order for 20 in fast food drive-through lines, and those who take cell-phoned food orders in buffet lines, should be hanged, drawn and quartered without trial or counsel.
ESPN reports that National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell is thinking about -- get this, now -- eliminating kickoffs from NFL games. Dude put down the Kool-Aid. You're showing symptoms of Bud Selig poisoning.
We've tried bells, beeps, buzzers, chimes, chirps, simulated nature sounds, music radio, talk radio, TV timers, tape players, CD players and we're left with an immutable truth: There's just no version of an alarm clock you want to hear.
Any religion that wants government to help sustain it needs more help than any government can possibly give it.
The more shamelessly a public figure panders for cheap applause, the more certain he will be praised for his "courage."
You have to admire the concentration of people who never let driving distract them from their phone calls.
The next filmmaker who has a Southern character using "y'all" as a singular pronoun should be forced to star in his own snuff movie.
More often than not, the real problem with people who claim to be misunderstood is that they're understood perfectly.
The longer an unattended car alarm goes off, the more I hope somebody is actually stealing the car.
Reach Dusty Nix at firstname.lastname@example.org.