Chuck Norris says that if this election doesn't go his way, America "may be lost forever."
Wait a minute.
Didn't he say that last election?
The quadrennial predictions of doom started early this year. Before Labor Day, Norris and his wife, Gena, posted a gloomy Facebook and YouTube video labeled "Dire Warning for America."
"Our great country and freedom are under attack," he wrote.
I guess they saw Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
The Norrises, who endorsed Newt Gingrich for the Republican nomination, never once mentioned Mitt Romney.
A few months ago, Chuck Norris had mocked him in a column as "the flip-flopping Massachusetts moderate."
In the video, Norris, 72, said only that voters should support "God and country."
But Gena, 49, quoted an old Ronald Reagan speech line about how voters can save America from the threat of "a thousand years of darkness."
She didn't explain that Reagan said that in 1964, campaigning for landslide loser Barry Goldwater.
She was 1.
Gena Norris also said President Barack Obama won the 2008 election only because "30 million evangelical Christians stayed home."
Astonishingly, that number has nearly doubled since the election.
Evangelical political leader Ralph Reed guessed it back then at 17 million.
But maybe the 30 million was adjusted for ego inflation.
For help figuring out exactly what would bring "darkness," I asked the leading local merchant of end-time prophecy, Plano-based Endtime Ministries (1-800-ENDTIME, selling six-year subscriptions to Endtime magazine for $59).
Pastor-editor Dave Robbins said he wasn't sure what the thousand years part was all about.
But he said this is the "most important election ever," because the next term might include Middle East events prophesied in the Book of Revelation.
Except Endtime readers aren't all that interested.
"A lot of Christians," Robbins said, "look at the election and ask, 'Why vote?' Our readers see two choices -- dumb and dumber."
But not doom.