But what aboot those sneaky Canadians?
State Rep. William D. Snyder, a retired Miami-Dade cop lately of Stuart, has drafted the kind of Arizona-style, send-'em-back-to-Latin-America immigration bill that elicits frothing delight from Anglo constituents. (Those without a stake in agriculture, tourism, construction or other industries dependent on low-paid undocumented laborers.)
Snyder's bill, like the popular if constitutionally suspect immigration law adopted in Arizona, would require cops to scarf up those divined as possible illegal immigrants. Police (no doubt excited by the prospect of additional duties to fill their empty work days) would be required to hold these foreign varmints until suspicions about their immigrant status are allayed.
For anyone wondering whether Snyder's bill is aimed at immigrants from balmy climates, he added a clarifying passage declaring foreigners with a passport from a visa-waiver nation -- mostly located in Western Europe -- would be ``presumed to be legally in the United States.''
Inexplicably, the Republican representative also proposed a similar distinction for intruders from a northern neighbor that utterly rejects tea party values that the Republican Party has embraced. How can Snyder confer a presumption of legality on socialist infiltrators from a nation that passed an even more radical, universal version of Obamacare back when Barack Obama was only 5 years old?
Exacerbating the insult to patriotic American values, those damn Canadians spend 1.5 percent less for healthcare than the U.S., yet, for spite, live 3.8 percent longer than we do.
Canadians, dismissing American worship of firearms as a kind of Freudian disorder, also enacted strict gun control laws and pretend a piddling difference in firearm homicides -- 10,224 in the U.S. in 2009 compared to 179 in Canada -- has great significance.
After the Tucson shooting rampage, the leader of the Canadian opposition party uttered what would be unspeakable for an American politician. ``Tucson tells me that Canada needs to maintain, enhance, protect and defend an integrated gun registry,'' Michael Ignatieff said. ``Nothing can be solved with a gun, anytime, anywhere.''
Down here in the real America, we know that those unctuous, polite Canadians secretly think they're more civilized, as if not having a death penalty or not tossing kids in prison on marijuana charges reflects national character.
Only 18 percent of Canadians think males should reign as the all-powerful final authority in a household. Do we Americans (49 percent of whom recognize male supremacy) want our women exposed to such heresy?
Rep. Snyder ought to consider that Jim Carrey, maybe Canada's biggest movie star, plays a gay con man in his latest release. Surely Snyder, a family-values man, has a patriotic duty to sic Florida cops on Canadians with the same wild-eyed xenophobic fervor he has for rounding up Hispanics or Haitians.
But the main reason to keep Canadians away from Florida has to do with their outlandish notion that politicians ought to discuss issues with Canadian-nice civility.
``One of the things I'm proudest about Canadian politics is that we have `opponents' in Canada in politics, but we never have `enemies,' '' Ignatieff insisted last week.
Down here in Florida, them's fighting words.