Elections 2016

August 31, 2012 7:14 AM

DAVE BARRY: My all-purpose Republican National Convention speech

The Republican convention reached an exciting climax Thursday, with Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan and their families waving from the stage to throngs of wildly cheering delegates as 120,000 red, white and blue balloons were released from the ceiling and immediately, for security reasons, shot down by Secret Service snipers.

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