I must be the most boring person alive.
Now that my friends have phones connected to the Internet, they don't really need me anymore. At least not me in my living, breathing self.
Back in the good old days, I'd meet a friend for lunch, or see them at a ball game, and we'd sit and talk, making eye contact, laughing, crying, sharing tales, doing all the things that friends do to connect with each other.
None of that matters anymore.
If your phone is hooked up to the Web, you don't have to make eye contact with me while I pour out my heartrending tale of woe.
You can be searching for a new dog groomer, at the same time I'm trying to share with you my big triumph of the week.
After all, it's all about multi-tasking today, right? Why give only one person your undivided attention, when you can be checking the baseball scores and reading your horoscope at the same time?
I am not making this up: My friend recently told me that she fired two therapists in a row, when she took her daughter to see them and they were reading their messages on their Crackberrys, er, Blackberrys during the sessions.
You: "Doctor! Doctor! I think I just had a big breakthrough!"
Therapist: "Just a minute, I'm checking the stock market."
Another friend told me that a member of her church board sits and surfs the web on his phone during board meetings. He's sitting at a small table with the other board members, so everyone can easily see him doing it.
Gee, could that be considered rude?
I had a friend whose daughter was on the same softball team with mine this year. At first, we sat together and talked during the games. But, then, it got too painful.
Instead of talking to me, or watching her daughter's game, she would just surf the Web compulsively. Then, she would look up and ask me a question.
The minute I started answering it, she would lean back down and start surfing again.
I'd rather watch my daughter's game.
Here's my question to these people: If you have to multitask, why can't you take up a time-honored task like knitting? At least when you're knitting, your ears are still free to listen.
And, hey, every winter, you've got a new sweater.
I was just browsing on a site called Crackberry.com, and people were asked in a forum, "Would you give up your Blackberry for $5000?" Most of them said, "No."
I guess I can understand that young kids today are wired differently, and their use of technology is very different than ours.
But for my Baby Boomer friends, here's a clue: It makes you feel like the dullest person alive when your friend is sitting next to you, reading her email while you're talking to her.
Maybe I can email you to get your attention.
Are you there?
Marla Jo Fisher was a workaholic before she adopted two foster kids several years ago. Now she juggles work and single parenting, while being exhorted from everywhere to be thinner, smarter, sexier, healthier, more frugal, a better mom, better dressed and a tidier housekeeper. Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org. Read her blog at http://themomblog.freedomblogging.com/category/frumpy-middleaged-mom-marla-jo-fisher/.
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